Some days are filled with ARGGHHH moments.

The last few days I have been waking between 3-4 am... not really conscious of a worry, but knowing that something is playing on my mind.

The things that are on my mind... (in no particular order)
* holidays!!! We leave for our whirlwind car holiday in 5 sleeps!  We are so looking forward to seeing friends that we haven't seen in a year... two sets!  Bring on the fellowship!  We are clocking a whopping 59 HOURS of driving.  Terrace-Prince George.  Prince George - Pentiction.  Pentiction -Abbotsford.  Abbotsford -Tsawassan.  Twasassan - Calgary.  Calgary - Prince George.  Prince George - Terrace.
* Empty Nest.  With our driving holiday comes the dropping off of our youngest son to college in Abbotsford.
* Work... the stress of leaving the store and knowing that  there are some issues there.  Actually, I dealt with one of the issues today... hopefully that will help!
* When I started this post, I had yet to hear from my oldest son as he went on a road trip with one of his friends.  I have since heard from him and his trip was wonderful by the sound of it.

Now, I am just ready to go... get in the car and drive away from it all.  Take a breather and decide what comes next.  We have an empty nest and just 40!  What do we want to do now that we have "growed" up?  New job, school, ministry????????

Wait on the Lord....

 Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
 Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
 Psalm 38:15
LORD, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.

So I wait.

Thank you Lord for the way you provide.

Jonathan made it safely to Vancouver.  Those were two very hard days for me.  Oh the prayers that were breathed.
Him travelling alone just made my crazy imagination go wild.  My brain would not let me believe that everything would go smoothly... all possible troubles plagued my mind.  So getting the text that let me know that he was safely at his destination... RELIEF.

This all makes me wonder how did my own Mom manage to let me go?  I was 19 when I hopped on a Greyhound bus (by myself) and came to BC.  4 days on a bus, by myself, no cell phones and no way to let her know I was ok during the trip.  Wow! 

I do know that God was good.  I know that He provided for Jonathan and his safety.  I know that it was He who was able to keep me from going over the cliff of worry.  I know that during the changes that are coming it is going to be Him who will bring comfort, and purpose to this Mom who no longer has kids at home.

Well, the first edited picture came in from the photographer... wow!  we all look like we belong in a old navy ad.  Oh the power of lighting and editing!  I have seen a few of her edited ones now and I love them all!  Oh how will I decide which ones are frame worthy?

We had such a nice time... we laughed and just really enjoyed our time together.

After this our family will change.  One or both of the boys will be only home for visits, short and sweet.  There is talk of one of the boys going far away to school next year... our family is changing.

Lord, thank you for the last 20 years.  Thank you for the young men that have grown up to love you and who desire to serve you with everything that they are.  Thank you for trusting me with these precious young men... I love them.

A whole year has passed... plus some.

The job... going well.  I have found that I love what I am doing right now... most days.  I have a wonderful staff behind me and that certainly helps.  Have we had issues?  Of course.  But we deal with them as they come up and move on.
The family.... is good.  Both boys were home this summer, which is probably the last time.  We had family pictures taken today and it was more fun then I thought.  It will be nice to have this keepsake.  Both the boys head to college in the fall... one in Abbotsford and one in Calgary.  What does that mean for us here at  home?  There is a part of me that is looking forward to this new stage and then there is the other part... who am I when I am no longer "Mom"?  A full time Mom. Which leads me to the question... where does my identity lie? 
For my whole life I have been... daughter, wife, mom, boss.  But none of these are who I am.  Although saying that there are definitely signs that I have rested who I am in one or all of these roles.  Does this make any sense?

This space will be a place where can explore who "I" am.  Along with all the heart aches and groans that come with a fresh empty nest.

In this last week I have been reminded that I am the bride of Christ and my thoughts have been, what does this mean?
Desired
Loved
Beloved
Anticipated
Cherished
Precious
Do I walk in these?  What does this look like?  What does that mean for me?  All questions to be answered.
But for now... I know that God has plans for me and that each day I can rest that He is in it.  His works are good!

I'm tired!

Which I guess I should be after working 5 days and keeping up with things at home. Sometimes I wish I could have endless energy and never need a day off.

But what is a day off? Cleaning the church, my house, yard work and errands...is this a day off?

In two weeks my two days off together will come to an end. How will I adjust?

1. No more cleaning the church.

2. Sunday will not be a chore day, everything I have to do will be done on Thursday so that Sunday can be a day of visiting and relaxing.

3. I will organize my life...or at least try to keep things straight. which should be easier with one son out of the house come September.

Good night...we are having an easy dinner and watching a movie...ahhh!

Hopefully this weekend I'll get in lots of reading...The Maisie Dobbs series is just great.

A Sunny Day

What a great day!

The sun is shining, inside and out!

I have felt peace about my job decision and have not had any no sleep nights. Which for me is amazing...my brain stops at night and I sleep.

I realize that the work is still to come but I feel that I can do this. The person that I asked to be my assistant has said yes, so now I feel like this is all doable.

This is what joy feels like!

A New Challenge

Well the time has come for me to make a decision...
Do I move up the ladder or do I stay where I am?

There are pros and cons for each side of the equation...will I ever sleep again? That is the question.

My boss finally told her boss that she was leaving. Which leaves an immediate opening for Manager.
Yesterday THE boss asked me if I was interested in the position? I answered yes, but said I had to talk to my husband. Brian and I chatted about whether I would be happy or not? Do I like my job right now? Do I like the people I work with right now? Could I do this job? All these are answered with a yes. It can't be about the money...it has to be more. Although the money is pretty good. It would certainly help us out, and it would also be a blessing to those that we can give it away too. Can I be the organized person that I need to be?
The other side of the equation is the time commitment. There are expectations of me...travelling to Vancouver every 2-3 months for buying. Maintaining the store for the start and then building on some of the ideas that are out there for building a business. Being on call 24/7. I will need to have this staff plus a few more that can support me and what I will be trying to do. If my children were small this would be a no, but they are almost grown and I need to have something for me.
So this morning I will call the boss and tell him yes. I would love to have this opportunity.