Wow, that was a long break from blogging...almost 2 months.
Life happened and at the same time God continued to work in my heart, and remind me of Himself. Was I faithful in spending time alone with God? Nope. Was my attitude one of seeking after God? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
Where am I right now?
Wondering.
Where does God want me?
What does God want me to be doing?
How can I get there from here?
But for all these life choices I have to make, or am feeling like I need to make, the question I still hear in my heart is...are you doing these things now? Am I where God wants me to be? Am I doing what God wants me to be doing here and now? Am I the person God wants me to be right now so that I can continue to be transformed into the person He wants me to be then?
If I'm not doing and being now, how can I do and be then?
Such questions, answers only to be found in Him.
Proverb 2:2-3 "Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding."
Proverbs 2:6 "For the Lord grants wisdom!"
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
a few thoughts
Yesterday I went to a Ladies Missions Rally. The special speaker spoke to us about her current ministry and all that God has been doing...so much more than she could think of herself. More than she could imagine or dream up on her own.
Then she gave us a way to look at the wind that so often flows through Terrace....God is the wind and He is moving and we need to put up our sails and go with Him....move with Him.
Tonight she told us to take a risk...to step out and trust God. How will we ever know if we don't take that step of faith.
Oh Lord, I want to trust You. I want to know Your power for myself and not just what I hear and read. I want to step out in faith.
See the desire of my heart and show me Your glory.
Then she gave us a way to look at the wind that so often flows through Terrace....God is the wind and He is moving and we need to put up our sails and go with Him....move with Him.
Tonight she told us to take a risk...to step out and trust God. How will we ever know if we don't take that step of faith.
Oh Lord, I want to trust You. I want to know Your power for myself and not just what I hear and read. I want to step out in faith.
See the desire of my heart and show me Your glory.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
thoughts from todays devotions
I was reading in Psalm today. Chapters 37-41.
37:5 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you."
Once again, the lifestyle. Not just a style, that can be put on and off, but my lifestyle.
Everything I do. From rising in the morning, working, interacting with staff, relationships at home, time spent on the computer, EVERYTHING!
O Lord, help me commit everything to you, each day, at every moment. Transform me into the person who reflects back Your glory. Amen.
37:5 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you."
Once again, the lifestyle. Not just a style, that can be put on and off, but my lifestyle.
Everything I do. From rising in the morning, working, interacting with staff, relationships at home, time spent on the computer, EVERYTHING!
O Lord, help me commit everything to you, each day, at every moment. Transform me into the person who reflects back Your glory. Amen.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Forgotten God
Well, I just finished reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan. Amazing!
I am challenged to my core and I see the faults in my attitudes constantly.
God is amazing.
Just when I think He has forgotten about me and about changing me into a person that reflects Him better, He shows up and starts prompting me, whispering to me and letting me know "that right there...has to go"
Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus!
I am challenged to my core and I see the faults in my attitudes constantly.
God is amazing.
Just when I think He has forgotten about me and about changing me into a person that reflects Him better, He shows up and starts prompting me, whispering to me and letting me know "that right there...has to go"
Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
What does all this mean?
Here I sit at 5:45 am and wonder why?
I awoke this morning with a dream...of me not being prepared for a Sunday am worship service and picking music right before the Sunday am practice. Nothing seem to come together either, I woke up before the service and the fallout from this unpreparedness.
Lord, I pray that over and above picking the songs, I would lay the whole service at Your feet and ask You to do what You want to be done. Lord, stir my heart to the songs that will touch the heart of the one that You are calling. I pray that You would be the focus, not me, not the musicians, not the "show", YOU! This is an offering to You that I humbly place before You and ask that You would use to move us closer to You and equip us to move closer to those in our community.
I entered this role at the church with fear and trembling and still tremble, but the fear is gone knowing that God has asked me to do this for Him and to follow Him in this role that is so far above me.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
More notes from Crazy Love - profile of the obsessed.
This chapter deserves a post of it's own. Challenges each and every one.
pg 129
Obsessed: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.
pg132
People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back.
pg133
People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.
pg135
People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him. (1John 2:4-6, Matthew 16:24-26)
pg136
Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth. As Martin Luther put it, "There are two days on my calendar: this day and that day." (Luke 14:25-35; Matthew 7:13-23; Matthew 8:18-22; Revelation 3:1-6).
pg138
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be "humble enough, " and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known (Matthew 6:16).
pg139
People who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people(Matthew 13:44, John 15:8).
pg140
People who are obsessed with God are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world(James 2:14-26).
pg142
A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.
pg143
A person who is obsessed is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.
pg144
People who are obsessed are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or their failures. Obsessed people don't put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace.
pg145
People who are obsessed with God have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distractions and alternative messages.
pg146
A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God (James 1:2-4).
pg147
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying "Thank You!" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back r work hard enough to be worthy. He revels in his role as child and friend of God.
pg 129
Obsessed: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.
pg132
People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back.
pg133
People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.
pg135
People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him. (1John 2:4-6, Matthew 16:24-26)
pg136
Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth. As Martin Luther put it, "There are two days on my calendar: this day and that day." (Luke 14:25-35; Matthew 7:13-23; Matthew 8:18-22; Revelation 3:1-6).
pg138
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be "humble enough, " and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known (Matthew 6:16).
pg139
People who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people(Matthew 13:44, John 15:8).
pg140
People who are obsessed with God are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world(James 2:14-26).
pg142
A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.
pg143
A person who is obsessed is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.
pg144
People who are obsessed are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or their failures. Obsessed people don't put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace.
pg145
People who are obsessed with God have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distractions and alternative messages.
pg146
A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God (James 1:2-4).
pg147
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying "Thank You!" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back r work hard enough to be worthy. He revels in his role as child and friend of God.
notes from crazy love
pg23 "But you will have a choice:to adjust how you live daily or to stay the same".
I don't want to stay the same, I want to be a different person today than I was last year.
pg26 " R.C Sproul writes, "Man are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.""
pg31 "He(God) is perfectly set apart, with nothing and no one to compare Him to. That is what it means to be holy".
pg32 "This is the God who takes the time to know all the little details about each of us. He does not have to know us so well, but He chooses to."
pg44" The point of your life is to point to Him".
pg45 "God wants to be glorified".
pg59 " My existence was not random, nor was it an accident. God knew who He was creating, and He designed me for a specific work."
This is an amazing thought...God made me who I am on purpose...all the things that I wish were different God knew about and wanted me just the way I am.
pg61 " The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance(Eph. 1:18)."
We are NOT complete without Him. There is a hole inside us that must be filled. Sometimes we temporarily fill it with other things but until Jesus himself comes it is never satisfied.
pg67 " Thorns are anything that distracts us from God. When we want God and a bunch of other stuff, then that means we have thorns in our soil. A relationship with God simply cannot grow when money, sins, activities, favourite sports teams, addictions, or commitments are piled on top."
pg96 " ...nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God... God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives."
pg97 " Are you willing to say to God that He can have whatever He wants? Do you believe that wholehearted commitment to Him is more important than any other thing or person in your life? Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?"
pg103 "Come near to God and He will come near to you." James 4:8
pg104 " As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural."
pg111 " Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that you are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all is me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me."
pg120 " The good things we cling to are more than money; we hoard our resources, our gifts, our time, our families, our friends."
pg124 " What are you doing right now that requires faith?"
a question that stood out to me, what am I doing??? Would my life today be the same even if I didn't know Jesus?
pg130 " True faith is loving a person after he has hurt you."
pg131 " who are the people you avoid or who avoid you? Who are the people who have hurt you or hurt your friends or hurt your kids? Are you willing to do good to those people? To reach out to them?"
pg136 " When people gladly sacrifice their time or comfort or home, it is obvious that they trust in the promises of God."
pg140 " He is asking you to love as you would want to be loved if it were your child who was blind from drinking contaminated water; to love the way you would want to be loved if you were the homeless woman sitting outside the cafe; to love as though it were your family living in the shack slapped together from cardboard and scrap metal".
pg144 " God desires true intimacy with each of us, and that comes only when we trust Him enough to be fully transparent and vulnerable."
pg146 " Joy is something that we have to choose and then work for".
pg168 " We try to set our lives up so that everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises."
pg171 " The Holy Spirit is the one who changes the church, but we have to remember that the Holy Spirit lives in us. It is individual people living Spirit-filled lives that will change the church."
My thoughts and feelings are in the small italic print. There are a few more things from this book that I would like to highlight, but that will be anther time. I want this kind of love. I want the kind of faith that changes who I am and how I see God. I don't want to be safe anymore. I want to trust him for big things. I want to live a life that would be desolate without Jesus in it.
Right now, my life is safe. I trust God for things, but am always working out a plan just "in case". Lord, I want to trust you for it all and rest in that trust.
I want this crazy kind of love.
I don't want to stay the same, I want to be a different person today than I was last year.
pg26 " R.C Sproul writes, "Man are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.""
pg31 "He(God) is perfectly set apart, with nothing and no one to compare Him to. That is what it means to be holy".
pg32 "This is the God who takes the time to know all the little details about each of us. He does not have to know us so well, but He chooses to."
pg44" The point of your life is to point to Him".
pg45 "God wants to be glorified".
pg59 " My existence was not random, nor was it an accident. God knew who He was creating, and He designed me for a specific work."
This is an amazing thought...God made me who I am on purpose...all the things that I wish were different God knew about and wanted me just the way I am.
pg61 " The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance(Eph. 1:18)."
We are NOT complete without Him. There is a hole inside us that must be filled. Sometimes we temporarily fill it with other things but until Jesus himself comes it is never satisfied.
pg67 " Thorns are anything that distracts us from God. When we want God and a bunch of other stuff, then that means we have thorns in our soil. A relationship with God simply cannot grow when money, sins, activities, favourite sports teams, addictions, or commitments are piled on top."
pg96 " ...nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God... God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives."
pg97 " Are you willing to say to God that He can have whatever He wants? Do you believe that wholehearted commitment to Him is more important than any other thing or person in your life? Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?"
pg103 "Come near to God and He will come near to you." James 4:8
pg104 " As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural."
pg111 " Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that you are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all is me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me."
pg120 " The good things we cling to are more than money; we hoard our resources, our gifts, our time, our families, our friends."
pg124 " What are you doing right now that requires faith?"
a question that stood out to me, what am I doing??? Would my life today be the same even if I didn't know Jesus?
pg130 " True faith is loving a person after he has hurt you."
pg131 " who are the people you avoid or who avoid you? Who are the people who have hurt you or hurt your friends or hurt your kids? Are you willing to do good to those people? To reach out to them?"
pg136 " When people gladly sacrifice their time or comfort or home, it is obvious that they trust in the promises of God."
pg140 " He is asking you to love as you would want to be loved if it were your child who was blind from drinking contaminated water; to love the way you would want to be loved if you were the homeless woman sitting outside the cafe; to love as though it were your family living in the shack slapped together from cardboard and scrap metal".
pg144 " God desires true intimacy with each of us, and that comes only when we trust Him enough to be fully transparent and vulnerable."
pg146 " Joy is something that we have to choose and then work for".
pg168 " We try to set our lives up so that everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises."
pg171 " The Holy Spirit is the one who changes the church, but we have to remember that the Holy Spirit lives in us. It is individual people living Spirit-filled lives that will change the church."
My thoughts and feelings are in the small italic print. There are a few more things from this book that I would like to highlight, but that will be anther time. I want this kind of love. I want the kind of faith that changes who I am and how I see God. I don't want to be safe anymore. I want to trust him for big things. I want to live a life that would be desolate without Jesus in it.
Right now, my life is safe. I trust God for things, but am always working out a plan just "in case". Lord, I want to trust you for it all and rest in that trust.
I want this crazy kind of love.
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